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‘Now we've got the missiles to shoot down their Teslas’ — and other RuNet reactions to Putin's state-of-the-nation speech

14:35, 1 march 2018

President Putin dedicated a surprising amount of his annual state-of-the-nation speech on Thursday to Russia's latest high-tech weapons, revealing that the country is developing and testing new ballistic missiles, a nuclear-powered cruise missile, a new underwater drone, and laser weapons. The Internet took note.

Pavel Smolyak offered up a short and sweet summary of Putin's address:

Putin showed a missile that will kill everyone.
Pavel Smolyak
Putin showed a second missile that will really kill everyone.
Pavel Smolyak

When the president started talking about missiles, more than a few Russian Internet users recalled how Elon Musk's SpaceX launched the Falcon Heavy rocket last month, carrying a Tesla car into outer space.

Two outer spaces.
Put simply, now we've got the missiles to shoot down their Teslas.
What do you say now, Elon Musk?

Putin's talk of weaponized lasers also led to some Star Wars humor.

Basically, Russia's strategic goal over the next six years is to construct the Death Star.
For everybody too lazy to read, here's Putin's speech in one picture.
Now this is good.

The 3D graphics showed on video screens during Putin's speech didn't exactly impress. Some viewers joked online that they looked like clips from old computer games.

The original video from Putin's speech has been located.
Putin demonstrated missiles that are unrivaled anywhere in the world.
Military training exercises outside Rostov.
Putin demonstrated one of Russia's newest weapons.

Some Internet users started making plans for life after the nuclear apocalypse, recalling the currency used by characters in the computer game Fallout.

Okay, so Coca-Cola bottle caps will be worth a ruble, and Pepsi caps will be worth 50 kopecks. Are we agreed?

The focus on new weaponry led some Russian Twitter users to script imaginary dialogues with the president:

“Mr. Putin, the country is in ruins!”
“Have you seen this missile?”
“Mr. Putin, the roads are crumbling, food prices are rising...”
“Just look at this missile! It's great!”
“Everyone is stealing!”
“We're turn everyone into dust.”
“The first angel sounded, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up.”
“Mr. President, you've mixed up your notes. Here's your speech.”
Putin is asking the world to listen to Russia, but the new missile flies faster than sound...